Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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