you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Can I color on your dick again?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
