That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
