One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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