i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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