did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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