im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
