Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
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