dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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