i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
