Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize