the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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