He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
