Where is the hickey?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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