btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
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My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
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I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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