I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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