McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize