this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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