You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize