Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It's just like the Real World with babies
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He felt like a one man threesome
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
