false alarm. still invincible.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize