you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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