His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
