you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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