So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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