i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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