I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
