I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so let's talk penis.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize