Define "chronic" masturbator.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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