All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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