i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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