who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
