Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
