well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
