I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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