I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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