Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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