Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
