I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
