Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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