Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
