nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
