I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I want to walk on stilts...naked
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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