Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
