I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
