how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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