Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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