It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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