what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
