You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
