the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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