so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize