I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
