I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
