Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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