My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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