Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize